Broken Hearts
by Alex Took
Summary: Lily Evans was Severus Snape's best friend. But what Lily didn't know, was she meant much more than that to the damaged Slytherin boy. As fourth years, the pair are close, but James Potter's jealousy and arrogance threatens to change everything forever.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: Story takes place in the Marauders Era in their 4th Year at Hogwarts.

Severus Snape held his arms to his chest as he bustled to the front of the group. Today was a Hogsmeade outing for the 4th year students of Hogwarts, and Severus wanted to be the first into Honeydukes. He couldn't let anyone see what he was going to buy. The Slytherin boy had never purchased a thing from Hogsmeade; he had never enough money to even buy one licorice wand. He always envied the way other students would purchase candy left and right, for friends or for themselves. Students like James Potter. He of all the students striding behind Severus was the one he wanted to hide his purchase from the most. Severus could hear James' voice above all the other's, probably boasting about something. His voice always got louder and more obnoxious whenever he wanted to show off. Severus glanced back and caught a glimpse of Lily's Hippogriff patterned beanie. Yes, he was certainly boasting. _Lily_. His stomach tightened. Severus quickened his pace, slipping on an icy patch of the street but he ignored the sting and veered into a side street to beat the pack.

The sweet aroma of cookies and candies engulfed the young wizard as he darted inside Honeydukes. He relaxed a little when he popped his head back outside and spotted no one. Just an empty cold looking street. He glanced down to his baggy robes and dusted the muddy snow off his knees. Severus winced as the fabric stuck to his damp torn knee, but ignored the pain and headed to the cashier before he was no longer alone in the shop.

"Excuse me." Severus said quietly. He was already feeling his cheeks flush though no one had said or seen anything. A woman turned around from unpacking a box of Bernie Bots and headed over to him.

"Hello, how can I help you?"

"I ordered something, before the holidays. It was meant to arrive today." The woman shifted her weight, adjusting her glasses on her wrinkled nose.

"You ordered it, before the holidays?" Severus nodded. "My goodness boy," she looked to him over her glasses, shaking her head. "You'll be lucky if its still here. I'm sure it arrived weeks ago. You should have come by earlier." Severus' eyes fell to the floor. Now he'd done it! His long saved sickles , wasted. Probably eaten by an employee. He knew he would regret it, he knew he should have spent them on himself.

"Did you hear me?" Severus was jerked from his tornado of thoughts. The woman was leaning towards him. "I said what is your name?"

"Severus Snape." He said through his mop of dark hair falling around his face. He wasn't looking, but he could tell by the change in pitch of her voice she had turned her back and was heading for their storage. "And what is it that you ordered?" Severus clenched his jaw, still looking over his snow dusted shoulder. He was running out of time.

"Cookies. The personalized package." The woman waddled towards a box resting across the room. She flicked her wand, and to Severus' relief a small crinkling baggy floated upwards, filled with light yellow cookies. The woman eyed the bundle in her hand.

"Snape you said your name was, correct?" But Severus hardly heard her as panic began flooding his breast. There they were, Potter's Posse. James was leading the pack, Sirius, Remus and Peter behind him. He had to go, now.

"Yes please hurry." He blurted. The woman slowly headed towards Severus, his heart pounding as James neared the door. He could hear him now, his voice still as loud and annoying as it was before.

"I've got 100 sickles to spend here. I'm just thrilled." The door opened. Severus was racing through his pockets, trying to find his sickles . The posse entered right as the woman rested the cookies on the counter.

"My-my look at these! 5 sickles for 300 Bernie Bots!" That was Pettigrew. Severus could tell by his pig like voice. But the more Severus listened in on the entering conversations, the more he panicked. He was getting distracted, where were his sickles? Had he forgotten them like an idiot?

"That will be 12 sickles, Mr. Snape." The woman held out her hand. Severus glanced up, nodding nervously.

"Look they do have the Snow Chocolate Frogs." That voice was Lily. And it wasn't too far away.

"Told you so," James answered smugly. Severus panicked. If James spotted him, he may snatch the cookies from his hand; publicly humiliate him in front of everyone. "Hey Sirius, look!" The sound of James' quick paced footsteps heading towards Severus was like an unforgivable curse flying his direction, and he reacted as so. In one swift panicked move, Severus grabbed the cookies off the counter and twirled, nearly tripping on his baggy robes and sprinted towards the doorway. But he immediately ran into something.

"Don't mind me." Sirius said sarcastically. But before he could react, the cashier woman barked over her glasses that had now slipped all the way down her nose.

"Mr. Snape, you forgot to pay!" Severus was mortified, everyone was staring at him. He tried to make a silent dash back to the counter. Now he had found his sickles, they were in his robe chest pocket, in small velvet bag safely tied all together. Severus pulled it from his pocket and hurried towards the cashier, almost safe, when James popped his head out from around a bookcase of rainbow candies, his lips smug.

"Hey look everyone, Snivellus is trying to steal!" A few giggles bubbled around the store.

"Maybe next time try it without an audience." Sirius added from behind him, Pettigrew chuckling in response. Severus' face was flushed with horror; he knew he never should have come. He shakily dumped the golden coins out on the counter. They all rolled about as if they too were laughing circles around him.

"I-I didn't mean to steal." Severus managed to say. But he knew by the woman's stiff expression she didn't believe him.

"And what was it Snivells was trying to steal?" James appeared beside him, his big head adorned with those stupid round glasses. He leaned in towards Severus' precious bag of cookies. _No! _Without thinking, Severus snatched his wand from his robes and flicked it at a stand of lollypops beside James. Several candies flew towards the smug Gryffindor and hit him square in-between the legs. Several gasped as James tried to hide his pain. But Severus didn't watch long, turning on his heels and darting for a side exit as to avoid the rest of Potter's Posse. Murmurs and giggles trailed behind him as he flew out the door, skidding on the icy streets.

Severus welcomed the deep chill in the air; maybe it would cool his burning cheeks. A cold streak tingled his skin, were they so hot that they were melting falling snow? Severus looked up as he hurried away from Honeydukes, but was greeted by a blue, cloudless sky. When he realized what he had felt were tears, he violently wiped them away and wished he could appearate out of the Hogsmeade and forget all this. But then he remembered he was holding his cookies, were they even worth it? Severus headed towards an ally and glanced about before looking at them for the first time. He could read the red and gold icing through their shimmering cellophane, atop the first heart shaped cookie read the name Lily. He sighed. It was a stupid idea. He probably already lost her after that. His best friend.

Severus pulled his wand back out, chucking the cookies to the muddy ground and aiming. He could at least make something disappear, the cause of all this. But in mid spell he paused. For some reason, Lily liked him. She was the only one who would separate him from his Slytherin comrades. Maybe she knew Severus wouldn't steal. Maybe she didn't think her friend looked like as much of a fool as he felt he was. The bright, Gryffindor themed writing seemed to glow the name Lily amidst the mud and dark cobblestone below. Maybe she was still his friend. Severus held onto that thought, and headed back towards the castle, the burning of his skinned knee returning as his mind began to settle.


	2. Chapter 2

That afternoon the Hogwarts grounds became more populated as the sun grew warmer. Students were sharing snacks in the courtyards, chatting away and practicing spells. It was one of the warmest days they had had all winter. Even some of the ghosts were enjoying the sun; Nearly Headless Nick was trying to partake in a game of catch, but not succeeding. Severus Snape turned his back to the crowds and headed towards a patch of hillside facing the lake, below a towering willow. He was glad the tree had shed its leaves for winter, and enjoyed the sun it let in instead of its usual shade. It was so warm that he was temped to remove his robe, but he remembered his sweater had a large whole in the back so he left it alone. He was going to ask Lily to mend it for him; he wasn't the best at those kinds of spells. But she could fix anything. She was a very talented witch. Severus pulled up his sleeves a little, but the hand me downs were so over stretched that they just slipped back down. He hadn't seen Lily since his way to Honeydukes or any of the Potter Posse. In fact, no one had said anything to Severus as he went about the castle; it was possible no one cared what had happened. But James would, he held grudges. Severus felt no guilt for what he had done, James started it. As always.

Severus settled into the damp grass, squinting into the sun. He looked to the clock tower; it was five till 3 o'clock. Every Saturday at 3 in the afternoon, Lily and Severus would meet at that very spot, below the willow. But today he wondered if she would come. Severus sighed and pulled his robes up his skinny pale leg, revealing his knee. It stung as he bent it, and dried blood coated scattered patches of torn skin. It was easily mendable but the cut was nothing; he was used to worse at home. Severus flicked his long hair from his face and double checked his cookies were in his pocket when footsteps neared him. He quickly turned and smiled. Lily Evans returned a smile and laid her robe down before taking a seat beside him.

"I thought you might not come today." Severus said, appearing nervous.

"I'll come every Saturday Sev, don't you worry." Severus relaxed a little.

"Sorry about earlier, I didn't mean to and I didn't ste-"

"I know you didn't steal. Madam Witshot is a kook."

"What about James, though. I know you two are friends." Lily was quiet for a moment as if pondering something. Her loose red hairs dancing about her face below her hippogriff beanie. She tossed a rock towards the lake.

"He can be an ass, he deserved it." Severus smiled a little.

"So, can I still count you as my friend?" Severus was paranoid he had lost his closest friend but Lily seemed to have never had the thought cross her mind. She smirked.

"Honestly, Sev? Why wouldn't I? That's a silly question."

"You can't count on people like that, Lily, to always be there." He blurted without thinking. Lily let out a quiet sigh as she read his drawn expression.

"I know you can't." The young witch bit her lip, wishing she could change the disjointed callous life Severus faced at home. The life that made his mind more restless and troubled than it should be. "But I'm not your family, Sev. I'm different then them, and so are you." She smiled and rested her hands on her lap, searching for a topic to cheer her friend. "Too bad you left the Honeydukes, James nearly toppled over. Apparently lollypops can make a pretty nasty hit." Severus smirked.

"Yeah, too bad. Did you get anything?" Lily shrugged.

"I bought some Treacle fudge and a Snow Frog. You want to try some? They taste even better than the regular chocolate frogs. And these ones turn into snowflakes when they hop."

"Interesting." Severus didn't even know what a chocolate frog tasted like.

"What were you buying anyway? I thought you didn't like Hogsmeade. I never see you there." Severus bit his lip.

"Well, it was something for you." Severus reached into his pocket; it was safe to give it to her. She said she would always be his friend. The wrapper crinkled and sparkled in the sunlight.

"You're so generous, Sev! We'll have to share them." Lily grinned.

"I ordered them special, see." As Severus was handing them over, Lily grinning as she read her name on the top heart shaped cookie, the baggy suddenly took flight and zoomed out of sight.

"What's this Snivellus?" James Potter spat. Severus jumped up, anger and frustration rebuilding inside him. Sirius stood beside James, looking just as smug.

"Give it back, Potter."

"Or what? Throw some candy at me again? Now I'm terrified." James smiled and tauntingly bounced the cookies in his hand. Lily popped up and stood beside Severus.

"James, don't."

"Come on Lily, don't pretend you like him. We all know you do it just to be nice."

"That's not true." Severus snapped as he stepped up to James, inches from his face. "She thinks you're an ass. She said it to me. She only pretends to like you." James flicked his eyes to Lily for a moment before deciding it wasn't true.

"I'm sure she said that. That's why we're going to the Valentine Dance together." James smugly rolled off his tongue as if it was the smartest thing he'd ever said.That had to be a lie. He knew Lily didn't like James that way. Or so he thought. Severus looked upon Lily's face, but there was no denial on her lips. He clenched his jaw, his hair falling around his face. James tossed the baggy in his hand. Severus shot Lily a glare, balling his fists.

"Sev, I-" James clearly didn't want to know what she was going to say to him in her earnest tone, so he barked a "hey snivells," and tossed the bag of cookies to Sirius.

"You want you cookies, you got to catch them." Sirius smirked and threw the cookies back at James.

"Yeah come on greasy, it's just a bit of fun." Sirius said as he caught the baggy.

"Stop it!" Lily snapped, but James didn't hear or chose not to.

"Snivellus want the cookies? You want the cookies?" He had pulled out his wand, and was using it to dangle the cookies in front of Severus, whose rigid infuriated face was reflected in the boy's glasses. "Come get them." As Severus tried to snatch them, James flicked his wand upwards than towards Sirius with a laugh, who spun them about in the air a moments with his wand before shooting them back at James. Severus knew he shouldn't, knew it wouldn't matter anymore if James read the words on the cookies, but his frustration over came sense. James let out a laugh as he spun the cookies back at Sirius, purposefully missing so they would slam into the trees, breaking into pieces. Severus didn't restrain himself and tackled James to the ground from behind, his wand pointing at the Gryffindor's throat.

"Severus stop it! It's just a bag of cookies! They're being idiots!" But Severus ignored her. James' laughing eased as the tip of the wand pressed harder against his throat.

"What, you gonna use one of you and your friends' unforgivable curses on me?" Severus felt Lily pulling on his arm.

"Sev, please!" James looked up to Lily, than noticed something behind her. A small crowd of students had gathered. James chuckled as much as he could with a wand pressed against his vocal cords.

"Looks like you've earned yourself an audience for the second time today, Snivellus." Severus looked up, the group hardly visible through his mop of hair. James used Severus' distraction to his advantage and pushed his thin form off of him. Now James too was pointing his wand at Severus, who was still on the mucky ground. Lily ran to James and turned his face to look at her, knowing it would distract him.

"Please James, leave him alone."

"I'm only defending myself. You know who his friends are, you know what they do, practicing the Unforgivable Curses." He faced Severus again who was getting off the ground. "Those Blacks, all Filthy Slytherins. No offense, Sirius." Sirius shrugged.

"Put your wands down, both of you." Sirius seemed to have sided with Lily, having experience with how arguments can go really bad when wands are involved, and was now body blocking James.

"Come on; let's go eat all your candy." James looked to him and began to lower his wand. Lily stepped up to Severus, reaching out to touch his hand, but he jerked it away.

"He's thick, Sev, but the pair of you need to relax. You're better than this. Don't listen to James." Severus looked into her green eyes for a moment, before reluctantly lowering his wand. The two of them looked back to James, who was glancing between Sirius and Severus.

"Please, James. I really want to eat the rest of your sugar quills." James fixed his eyes on Sirius.

"The rest of? You mean you ate mine?" Sirius shrugged again. "Why didn't you buy your own?"

"Why should I when you're buying them. Once it's in the dormitory, it's free for all. Pettigrew's Rule. I only follow it." He smiled smugly and tugged on James' robe as he began walking away. "Oh yea, hey Snivellus." Sirius said as he held up the crumpled baggy in his hand. "Still want this?" Lily snatched it from his hand before anything more could happen to the sad looking cookies, stashing her gift in her robes. Severus glanced at her pocket, knowing the cookies were ruined, unreadable, and now he surely lost her as a friend. Maybe his Slytherin friends were right; he shouldn't hang out with Gryffindors. Severus stuffed his wand away and began to head back towards the castle, furious and exhausted. But something caught his foot and he face planted into mud that had been dug up during their fight.

"James!" Lily barked, glaring at the wizard as he pulled his foot back in.

"It was an accident, sorry Snivellus." Severus quickly got up, and without a look behind him, pushed through what was left of the crowd.

"Move!" He shouted. He didn't stop to listen what students were saying to him, nor what Lily was shouting to him as he left them behind as fast as he could. He just wanted to disappear into the castle; his only comfort being the Slytherin dormitory was not far away.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's note: In case it was unclear, the story takes place in their 4th Year at Hogwarts.

* * *

><p>The following night was a sad one for Severus Snape. He skipped dinner and lay awake in his bed for a several hours, eventually falling asleep into dreams of James Potter's arrogant face. In his dreams he shot curses at him, blasting him beneath the waters of a black lake where he didn't come back up. Severus spent the following week very quietly when regarding those Gryffindors. He ignored James in class when he and Sirius would very obviously gossip about him, resisting the urge to punch the glasses off his nose. But who he also ignored, that made him feel hollow inside was Lily. Severus didn't speak to her and avoided the girl whenever she neared, veering in the opposite direction. Instead of spending the spare times between school and dinner with her as he often did, he went about with other Slytherins. Doing things he knew Lily would not approve of, like enchanting Gryffindor's toilets so they flushed upwards. Though, it was in the boy's lavatory, so no harm would come to her. Only to Potter's Posse. The week crawled by, and soon enough Friday became tomorrow, the day of the Valentine Dance. Severus tried to block out all talk of the dance amongst the students, but it was a hard thing to manage.<p>

At the word dance, all Severus could hear was James Potter's foul voice as he smashed his cookies into pieces, Lily's cookies. Severus was going to get revenge for what James had done; he just hadn't quite figured out what was bad enough. James was right, Severus' friends had practiced the unforgivable curses before and even Severus himself had tried to learn the _Cruciatus_ curse, just in case. Severus had never done the curse before, never seen it used except on rats. He didn't know how badly it truly hurt. But if he were to use James as test subject, Lily would be sure to never be his friend again. But was she anymore? If he had lost her, what more harm could he do? It would be great to see James scream. Severus pondered that thought as he drifted off to sleep.

The next day was spent as the last four were, avoiding Lily and Potter's Posse. But today he hardly saw her. Not at breakfast, not in the halls. He wondered if he should hang around before the dance, just to see how pretty she would look. Imagine himself by her side, a night to remember forever. But the risk of James spotting him made him decide against it, and instead he kept to the Slytherin dungeon.

Chortling laughter echoed around the common room. A Seventh year Bellatrix was rolling about on the couch and tossed a shiny wrapper onto the floor. Narcissa grinned, sitting beside her. Severus observed this from a chair in front of the fireplace, his knees to his chest.

"He really said that, and you mean REALLY?" Bellatrix asked through a maniacal smile. When her sister nodded she let out another chortle before plunging back into a box of chocolates that rested on her lap.

"Yes, I presume he was nervous. Well, that's my excuse anyway." Bellatrix loudly sucked her finger.

"But you're still snogging him?" Severus sighed. He couldn't get away from girls talking about these types of things no matter where he went.

"Please Bella it's not just that. I could see marrying him. He's pure, wealthy, knows what he wants." Bellatrix made a disgusted face.

"I know what I want, another bloody box of these!" She chucked the empty chocolate box towards Severus. "Hey you," he stared for a minute, "go steal me another box. I got these from some first year." When Severus didn't respond she rolled her eyes and looked to Narcissa. "Some people are just useless." Severus looked at the clock, it was almost 7. Almost the start of the dance. "Why you so deathly looking, boy? You get stood up?" Severus shrugged. "Whose the girl."

"Potter's."

"Potter's girl? Who the bloody hell is that? You expect me to be up on Fourth Year gossip?" Severus would rather not engage with the witch, but he didn't feel like being around an angry Bellatrix.

"James Potter. You're cousin's best friend."

"Hold on. You wanted to take my cousin, Sirius Black to the dance?" She chortled again; Severus began to tune her out. Narcissa's expression seemed to not be lavishing in the Slytherin boy's distress, and tossed a wrapped candy to him while her sister was still drowning in her own laughter. She smiled. Severus simply stared at it for a moment, then back to the flames in the fireplace. Bellatrix went silent for a moment, the music of the dance just starting up and echoing in through the walls. "Cissy…why aren't we at the dance? I mean, it's my last chance." She sounded almost sad. But Bellatrix never held one emotion for more than a few seconds. "Forget it! I don't want a stupid date anyway nor do I want to go to one of those vile dances! But, we could go and blow something up down there." Bellatrix popped up from the couch, her mat of curls atop her head pointing in several directions.

"All right. But nothing too bad, Bella. I do want you to graduate." Narcissa added as she trailed after her. Severus let out a long quiet sigh. Now he was alone, as he had wanted to be. He'd rather fester in his own grief alone than have others poke around in it. He was becoming absorbed in his own thoughts of resentment when Bellatrix's shriek startled him awake. "Watch where you're going!" A small voice answered in response, but any voice would sound meek compared to Bellatrix.

"I'm sorry."

"Kids these days. They're no good!" He could hear Bellatrix's stomping echo off down the halls, followed by Narcissa's voice than another loud chortle that could have belonged to a dragon. Severus curled up in his large armchair, making himself as small as he could. Hoping he had disappeared into it, so no one would know he was there. He heard a slow pair of footsteps nearing in the hall, echoing loudly in the chamber like room. He pulled his feet in closer, hoping to go unnoticed. He could see the person's shadow reflecting off the metal of the hearth.

"Hello?" Severus stiffened, the fire crackled in response. The footsteps continued. They were heading towards the dormitory. He was safe. Then he heard one land several feet from him. "Sev?" Severus' stomach churned. It was Lily garbed in a simple red dress, the firelight playing with her red hair like water shadows. "They thought I was a Slytherin." She smiled shyly. Why was she here? Was James behind him, waiting to pounce? Severus gripped his wand as sat up, glancing behind him. He and Lily were alone.


	4. Chapter 4

Why was she here? Was James behind him, waiting to pounce? Severus gripped his wand as sat up, glancing behind him. He and Lily were alone. Well, except for a portrait above the hearth grumbling that the fire was too hot.

"You, slipped in?" Lily nodded, looking about the room. Severus pushed his hair out of his face.

"I never knew it was so, dark and cold in here." Lily stepped closer to the fireplace. Severus didn't know what to say. Should he apologize for attacking James? Ignoring her? Should he still ignore her? Lily turned to face him, the firelight reflecting off something in her hand. Something shiny.

"Gryffindor isn't like this?" She shook her head. Severus sat up a little. "Why did you come here? Aren't you supposed to be at the dance?"

"Maybe." The thing crinkled in her hand, and as she spoke Severus realized what it was she was holding. "You see I, I mended my cookies." She held out the baggy in her hand. It was true; the baggy was filled with several intact cookies, not beaten into sand.

"Oh." Why was she telling him this? She outstretched her arm and placed the bag on his lap. She came all this way, to give back her gift?

"Open it." Severus looked to the cookies then met her gaze for the first time. Why was she doing this? He knew what was inside, even if she had mended the cookies. He slowly opened the bag, peering in. Instead of being greeted by frosting reading Lily, the curly writing read Sev. He looked back up to her, she was smiling timidly. He pulled the cookie out, gently placing it on his lap. Then he pulled out the next, it read "Dance," the last said "with me?" But this time the frosting alternated, with the house colors of Slytherin and Gryffindor. He looked up to Lily. "As you can tell, I did change one thing." Severus was nervous, and confused. Was this a trick?

"I don't understand…" Lily took a seat on a glass table next to him.

"I was furious at James. And to be honest, I wasn't very pleased with you either. But, yesterday I tried _Reparo_ on them and it worked beautifully. I became so hurt when I read them." Severus' chest tightened. "I mean because of James. I was touched by what you did but it made me even angrier at James. I got why you were so cross with him in the first place. You were planning on asking me to the dance, that's why you ran out of Honeydukes isn't it? I wouldn't want anyone to see something like that either."

"So…my name on the cookie..." Severus hoped he knew why it was there, wanted it to be that reason but he didn't want to get too excited.

"Sev, those cookies are yours now. But I kept all the words the same for a reason. The only thing I changed was the name." Severus felt his face turn red again.

"You're saying you-"

"I'm asking you to the dance, Sev." Severus couldn't help but smile.

"Truly?"

"Yes, now if you'll go with me we need to go, it starts in 5 minutes."

"Of—of course Lily." She pulled on his hand. Severus floated up from the chair, feeling the happiest he had been in months. "But I'm not dressed up," he looked down to his Slytherin robes. "And I don't really have anything formal." Lily bit her lip, surveying his outfit. She stepped foreword and pulled off his outer robe, leaving him in his sweater over a collared shirt that was adorned with a green and white tie.

"But, I can't." Severus turned his back to her, revealing the gaping hole in his sweater.

"Blimey, where'd you get that?"

"Someone grabbed it." Lily let out an annoyed sigh before taking her wand from her glittering purse.

"If you don't mind." Severus nodded happily. "_Reparo_!" Severus felt his sweater tighten as it weaved back its shape. "There." Lily patted where the hole was moments ago.

"Do people wear their robes to dances?" Severus asked as he turned to face her, fiddling with the button on his sleeve. Lily shifted her weight.

"Sometimes." She tried to make it sound as truthful as possible. "But that doesn't matter, let's just go have fun." She smiled, wrapping her arm in his and heading out the door. The pair hurried towards the great hall that always was transformed into the dance area. The sounds of the music became livelier and smells of treats grew sweeter as the couple neared the towering doorway. Students were filing in and out, giggling and skipping. Several boys stood outside, adjusting their ties in mirrors, and a few girls were slumped off to the side, hesitant to enter. But then Severus spotted him, James Potter standing outside the doorway, garbed in his own set of formal clothes. He was scanning the crowds, the halls, he was looking for Lily. Had she not told him she was going with him? Or had she been lying to him these past joyous minutes, just to make James' possible attack more painful?

"Does Potter know?" Lily shook her head, seeming proud of the fact.

"I want to see his face when he realizes it." The two smiled, nearing James at a decent pace. Lily's purse glittered in the candlelight, drawing James' gaze. For a minute, the Gryffindor smiled, slicking back his hair. But suddenly that smile was wiped away when he noticed Severus, his messy hair flopping about, his baggy robes looking clown like, hooked to his date's arm.

"What's this Lily? Brought him to uh…uh." James looked about for a moment. Severus smirked as he watched James realize that he had no back up. He was alone. And Severus was with Lily. His smirk that he always wore when making fun of someone vanished. "What is this Lily, some sort of joke?" He said quickly.

"No James and I won't let you turn it into one. Severus is a gentleman, and I'd rather be on his arm than a manky pig headed nutter's like you!" James anxiously shifted his weight. The flow of the arriving students clogging at the sight of the argument.

"Come on Lily, are you having a laugh?" When she remained silent James shook his head, appearing somewhat defeated. "Lily this is ridiculous." There was almost some hurt in his tone. "It isn't fair."

"No, what you did to Sev and _do_ to Sev isn't fair." James' eyebrows flew up.

"Now that's even not fairer! You can't blame it all on me!"

"Really? What about all the times you tripped him in the halls, or pulled his chair out from under him, or-"

"All right okay. I get it. I'm a prick." Lily bit her lip. Although she had been furious at him the past few days, James calling himself a prick bothered her. The moment he asked her to the dance, she couldn't stop smiling if she tried. But that wasn't _this_ James. That was the James she liked, the James that could be kind and human. But he was hardly ever around.

"Yes, you are." Severus said, adjusting his arm that was still enwrapped in Lily's. James clenched his jaw, fixing his gaze on the floor.

"I hope you two have a blast." With that he turned on his heels. Severus swore he noticed a tear drop glinting on his cheek. Lily must have noticed it too, for she appeared less irritated than she had moments ago. She watched him stride off wearing an almost regretful expression. But Severus was feeling happiness glow inside of him. Lily had defended him, and not only that, but insulted James Potter. That was a big blow against the wizard and made Severus smile.

"Thank you, Lily. No one has ever stood up for me like that." Lily looked to him, possibly realizing that yes that was what she had done. She wasn't just insulting him out of the blue.

Lily nodded as she thought of the cruelty James had done to Severus as of late, and the things he always did to him. Severus Snape, a boy with no friends or family who truly cared about him. Lily was the only one. She took a deep breath, "of course Sev, anything for my best friend." She gave his arm a squeeze. "Let's go before McGonagall locks us out." The pair disappeared into the crowds of in the hall.

Wintry colors mixed with gentle hums of red and pink speckled the enormous room. Cakes and heart shaped cookies, ciders and butter beers bordered the walls, dotted with students who dashed from one table to the other. Even Bellatrix and Narcissa seemed to have put off their plans of explosion and were distracted by the goodies. Couples were dancing, friends were laughing. Even Hagrid looked like he was enjoying himself, belly laughing about something Dumbledore had told him, a smile still lingering on the old wizard's lips. Severus had never seen such a lively site, he had caught glimpses of dances before but never had he attended one. Let alone with a date. Lily waved at one of her friends as they strolled through the crowds. Their eyes staying on them longer than they should have, but Lily simply smiled, happy to have her best friend on her arm even if others didn't understand. And she was even happier to see that Severus had not noticed the stares, his dark brown eyes sparkling with joy, enchanted by the beauty of the hall.

By the end of the night, Severus felt as if he had been zooming about on a broom for hours. His stomach was tired of housing butterflies caused by his nervous excitement, his face was tired from smiling and his feet were tired from dancing. At 9 o'clock, the students lazily flooded out of the hall all too love struck or drained or stuffed to dash off to bed.

"That was so much fun, Sev! It went by so quickly."

"Thank you for asking me Lily, for taking me." He smiled.

"No, thank _you _for asking me. It was a blast, probably more fun than I would have had if I went with James."

"I should hope so." Severus smiled, nervously fingering his tie.

"I know so." Lily leaned in, kissing his cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow, Sev. Three o'clock?" Severus was so overwhelmed that it took him a moment to respond with a quick nod.

"Yes, see then."

"Goodnight, Sev." She shared once last smile with the messy haired Slytherin, who was too beset with delight to answer. Lily turned on her heels, jogging to catch up with one of her fellow friends and headed off towards Gryffindor tower. Severus stood where he was, for a few moments, taking it all in. He took one last look at the Great Hall, which by morning would no longer appear as it had that night. Back to its regular look. Back to regular life. But would Severus' be the same after this? After Lily had confronted James in front of countless students? Severus hoped it wouldn't be, hoped his life would be different. Better. As he curled up in bed that night, Severus hugged his sweater to his chest, the square that Lily had mended for him pressed against his heart.

* * *

><p>Author's note: A big thank you to all my readers and reviewers! Only two more chapters left!<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

The next day was like attending a new school. Severus didn't dread classes with James, didn't hide when Potter's Posse was coming down the hall, just to avoid an insult. He could even wear his sweater without awkwardly leaning against walls to hide its haggard look. And best of all, Severus was happy. As lunch ended, he looked about the crowds for Lily hoping he could see more of her that day. There she was, the Hippogriff beanie, swaying about in the garden. What was she doing in there alone? Severus hopped through a courtyard window when he stopped in his tracks. She wasn't alone, there was James Potter, fidgety and nervous looking. But he couldn't hear his voice, he wasn't showing off. Was he apologizing? Maybe. Explaining why he was such a git. He would hear about it later, and he continued on. But what Severus didn't know, was that it was at the right moment for him to turn his back.

At quarter to three, Severus plopped down against the willow tree, picking at one of its bare and dry branches. The lake below him was placid, holding reflections of the passing black snow clouds above. Severus watched them to pass the time, inventing Hippogriffs and Centaurs out of the weather. The clock tolled 3 o'clock. He sat up a little, glancing about. Still no Lily. He lay back down for five more minutes, 10 more minutes. He began to worry she wouldn't come. As he had last week. He began to think maybe his life hadn't changed, when there was Lily striding towards him.

"I'm sorry I'm late, Sev." She smiled and plopped down in the grass beside him.

"It's all right. How're you? I saw you talking to Potter earlier. I would've got him away from you, but I figured you could handle it." Severus offered a smile that Lily belatedly returned.

"Well, you see Sev, he was…apologizing." Severus tossed a pebble into the lake.

"I bet he was. Don't believe him, Lily. He's deceptive. Even Truth Serum couldn't work out his lies." Lily was quiet, fiddling with a leaf in her hand. She didn't speak till Severus nudged her. "Are you sure you're okay, did he say something mean to you?"

"No, nothing like that. Quite the opposite really." Severus' stomach tightened.

"How do you mean?"

"Well, you see Sev, when James asked me to the dance I was thrilled. I didn't even really know I liked him till then. He's always so arrogant and rude, as we well know. But when he talks to me, alone, it's like he's a different person." Severus was panicking inside; terrified of the words her lips were forming. "I wish you could see that side of him. I wish everyone saw more of that side of him."

"It's probably a fake side." He said without thinking.

"I thought so at first too, but the things he said to me today…he apologized for being so rude and bigheaded. For being so awful to you. But don't worry, I made him promise to apologize to you directly. You deserve that and more." Severus could only give a slight nod. "Everything he said was a bit garbled and confusing, which made me think it was true since a lie is sometimes easier to tell then the truth. But what I managed to get was that he was always so crude to you because he was jealous." Jealous? James Potter jealous of Severus Snape? That had to be a lie. "Jealous that you and I spent so much time together. Apparently he didn't know we were best friends. Sev I-"

"Hey Lily," a girl called out playfully. Lily turned around to see two of her friends giggling. "We saw you snogging Potter!" Lily immediately blushed.

"Oh shut it." The girls shared a smile before skipping away. Lily returned her attention back to Severus, but she went unnoticed. She might as well have been a ghost. Severus' mind began sinking as his thoughts and feelings unwillingly wound together, diving into a place that they never left. Severus slowly realized Lily didn't know there was a reason his cookies were heart shaped. A reason he had asked her to the Valentine Dance of all dances. A reason he despised James so much. Snogging Potter. Best friends. Best friends. That's all they could ever be. How stupid was he to think she cared for him as much as he did her. Lily's touch pulled him away from his mind. "You all right, Sev?" He realized he had been silent for at least a minute, maybe two.

"Yes, I'm fine." But he knew that was the only thing he could say. He was losing Lily to James, and he didn't want to loose her anymore than he could prevent. Not his only best friend. Lily Evans. A beautiful girl. He couldn't imagine life without her; he had to smile because he loved his best friend.


	6. Chapter 6

**17 YEARS LATER**

The room was cool and quiet. Severus stood, stiff in his place. The view out the window was fogged from the touch of winter. He slowly smeared the stuff away. His black eyes went to the lake, to the willow, the patch of hillside. His fingers began to tremble, his breath falling short. He staggered away the view and returned to his desk, falling into a chair. He immediately opened the bottom drawer of his desk, revealing a small box. He fingered the wooden engravings of a flower. It was a lily. He hadn't opened it for years now. Not since the day it was first closed, 10 years ago. Severus tapped the top with his wand and it creaked open. He sat still for a moment, before slowly pulling the small box onto his lap. Lily's hippogriff beanie lay curled up inside. He delicately took it in his hand, it crinkled slightly. Even though he had just heard it, knew it was still there, he peaked inside the hat and there it was. The small cellophane baggy, that so many years ago held a gift for Lily, and a gift for him. His heart began to swell with memories, weighing him to the floor like metal chains. Feelings of the past coiled around his heart. The days under the willow. The Valentine Dance. Lily's smile, her laugh her voice. Never again.

Severus coughed out a sob, his shoulders shaking. Lily was dead. Though it had been 10 years since he found her, 10 years since he held her lifeless body still warm in his arms, the shock and the despair he felt clung to his bones with an inescapable grasp. He let out another sob, feeling as if blades had replaced his ribs, panging him with each breath. He had held on for this long. Held his screams and sorrow inside for 10 long years. They were suffocating him, dragging his mangled spirit forward day after day. Lily Evans his best friend was gone. He had no friends. Severus was as equally lonesome as he was as a child. No one to separate him from his Slytherin comrades. His best friend, dead for 10 long years.

Severus couldn't face it any longer. His job in protecting Lily's son was finished. He had done his work. Harry was older now, soon to be at Hogwarts. Dumbledore could care for him. Severus' protection was no longer needed. He rose and hurried to a cupboard of potions, opening the glass doors. Dozens of colored vials rested on the shelves, but one was sealed separately in a box. Severus reached for the red potion, tapping the metal lid with his wand and murmuring something. It opened only for his tongue. The box unlocked, and he took the thing in his hand. The potion was lethal, made by Severus himself. His hand crinkled, Lily's hippogriff beanie was still in his hand. Severus tightened his grip and pressed it to his chest; he wanted to die holding something happy.

He turned his face to the window. The patch he had smeared away was slowly fogging back up, the image of the willow fading. He knew Lily would stop him; say he was better than this. But she was dead. And the Lily that he was closest with he lost even longer ago. Severus swallowed, and gripped the hippogriff beanie tight in his hand. Lily Evans, his best friend.

"I'm sorry, Lily." He closed his eyes and brought the potion to his lips when the door busted open.

"Do excuse me, Severus." Dumbledore stood in the doorway, his eyes bright with awareness but his expression calm as always. Severus hastily capped the potion, his skin burning as some of the liquid spilled.

"Headmaster." Severus said as he wiped his hand on his robe. The old wizard's intent eyes were locked on him then flicked to Lily's beanie in his hand.

"I always did like that." Dumbledore smiled. Severus reluctantly sat the potion aside. He was ready to die. He had wanted to die. "As I said, pardon the interruption but I am in dire need of something to settle my stomach." The old wizard patted his belly as he began scanning the potions on the wall. "You must have something." Severus could tell by his eyes, his words that Dumbledore knew.

"Why did you stop me?" Dumbledore's hand froze on a vile as he looked to him.

"You are about to begin a new chapter in your life, Severus. I wouldn't want you to miss it. Harry Potter is currently taking his first ride on the Hogwarts express. He will arrive shortly." Severus balled his fist.

"I do not-"

"Please, Severus. You may find more familiarity in the boy than you believe. Look to his eyes, they are not James'." The old wizard smiled. "I suppose I shall be going. I will be seeing you soon then. The feast will be delicious. And do try to not be too harsh to the boy."

"And your stomach." Dumbledore's brow rose.

"It seems to have vanished." He smiled as he turned out the doorway, the door creaking shut behind him. Lily's son. James' son. If it were his choice, if it wasn't also Lily's boy, Severus wouldn't have risked so much to protect him. But Harry Potter was another link to her. Her blood, her eyes. Protecting him would lead to avenging Lily. He had no other choice. Would Lily ask this of Severus? Asked him to do what she no longer could? Severus squeezed the beanie. _Yes_. It is what Lily would have wanted. What she would have asked of her Slytherin friend. He had to do this for her. Live on for her. Because Lily Evans was once his best friend. She was the only one he ever loved.

* * *

><p><em>Author's note:<em> Thank you to everyone who read this story, it is much appreciated! It was as equally sad and fun to write, and I hope it was the same to read it.


End file.
